Christian Rivera Magtalas
Journal: September 2009
St. Isidore, the Farmer Parish

He Knows Better...
Gospel: Luke 11: 29-32
Introduction:
Jesus came for the conversion of the heart of the people. He is calling each individual personally to hear to His word of truth. Our Gospel is an invitation to a deeper understanding of the mission of Christ as the letter of Paul to the Galatians 4:22-24, 26-27, 31-51 says that Christ came to free us from the yoke of our slavery.
-Slavery from our own understanding
-Slavery from our wishes
ü You know better than I...
Experience: Have you sought for concrete and well defined answers for all the why’s/questions in your journey? I could not fully understand why hard things have to happen in my life. I could not understand why I have to sacrifice in the things I do not make; in the selfishness of others, and to suffer despite of all my good works. (Life of Ellen B.: she works in the church for her whole life. She offered herself being single so that she could work fully. Moreover, last April 2008 she knew that she has a breast cancer. She could not understand God then. She kept asking God to give her reasons for that suffering she is into but then in the end she understood that her pain is helping her to enter into a deeper holiness. For her the grace of the love and mercy of God she received from her whole life was greater than her suffering and that suffering was even seen as an act of Love of God to her-giving her the opportunity to grow in pain with the wounds of Jesus on the cross.
Thoughts: Sometimes or many times in our life we seek answers for our questions but oftentimes we seek the answers the way we wish it to be answered. Our presuppositions and controlling attitude makes us hard to hear the voice of God and see the things He wants us to see.
Call: St. Augustine with His popular expression of his heart, “My heart, is restless until it rest in You...”
Virtue: Dependence on God...to let go the need always to know why... be calmed!
ü You are there where I stand...
Experience: Have you experienced being loved? When we experience that we are loved, we feel a sense of shame. Then, our response is to offer what we could give in return to his/her love. There are some who gives their best, special attention, makes act of charity and other ways that will please them.
In our case with our relationship with God, especially when we received a hard consolation from Him, we could feel the immensity of His love, His attention, and bountiful mercy. Then, our shame is an effect of the unconditional and unsurpassing love of God notwithstanding our being sinful and having a stony hearts.
Thoughts: God recognizes one’s own facing. He allows one to exercise his/her own freedom of choice. But He guides and leads us in our own path. He follows us in our own ways.
Call: Mother Theresa beautifully expressed the wisdom of her heart, “ I am not called to do great things but to be faithful.”

Waiting...Opening a door to Holiness

Christian Rivera Magtalas
Journal: August 2009
St. Isidore, The Farmer Parish

W A I T I N G …Opening the door to Holiness
When we hear the word wait from another person, we assume that he/she will come or will see us soon. When we are going to other places, we wait for transportation by the road side, because we believe that cars will be passing by there. When we get sick, it is but natural for us to hope that soon we will get well. When we love somebody, we wait that he/she will love us too. I think the disposition of waiting is one of the human acts that will always be used in our daily activities.
I firmly believe that ‘waiting’ is not only an ordinary action or response to a particular situation but it may have also have a spiritual significance because it has a deeper meaning and value in our lives as Christians and as persons. Waiting teaches us to be loyal to somebody. It gives us a patient mind and heart. It shows charity and concern. It inspires us to hope for something, and most especially it serves as an avenue to enter into reflection and discernment.
In the Gospel of Mark (Mark 10:46-52) we could see the story of the blind man named Bartimaeus. Bartimaeus also waited on the roadside with the hope to be cured by Jesus. He waited patiently and courageously that his savior will come.[1] This story is also the story of many people though in different contexts. I am experiencing also this story now. I have to patiently wait for my healing, for answers to many of my questions, and for the fulfillment of my dreams and desires. In my first two weeks this year after my graduation, I have been in different situations with various challenges and problems. In facing those situations, I learned two things. The first is silence; to be calm and aware of the inner movements of my soul. The second is listening; to hear the voice of my soul and God’s invitation for me. True silence and listening though, could not be fully being achieved without the choice to wait. My usual experience in prayer is that God sometimes is playing a hide and seek with me. Oftentimes, I am challenged by the temptation to give up, but through constant discernment of the heart, I am enlightened that in waiting, God has a message. It is wisdom to know that waiting is a grace. God also relates and communicates through a patient and courageous heart that waits. He manifests His abundant grace in times that the soul struggles as it waits for His presence. The grace of waiting is part of the road that people will take. God also personally waits on the same road.




















[1] Mark 10:46-52. The Blind Bartimaeus.

The GRACE OF SILENCE...a way to holiness

CHRISTIAN R. MAGTALAS Journal SASMA/JUNE 21, 2007

“ I, Lord, went wandering like a strayed sheep, seeking Thee with anxious reasoning without, whilst thou wast within me… I went around the streets and squares of the city of this world seeking thee; and I found Thee not, because in vain I sought without for him, who was within my self.” -St. Augustinea
The sovereignty of nature has been allotted to the silent forces. The moon makes not the faintest echo of a noise, yet it draws millions of tons of tidal waters to and fro at its bidding. We do not hear the sun rise nor the planets set. So, too, the dawning of the greatest moment in a man’s life comes quietly, with none to herald it to the world. In that stillness alone is born the knowledge of the over-self.
Only in deep silence we may hear the voice of the soul. When we give space to ourselves from all the physical and inner noise we have, it is only then we find the voice of our very own selves. The treasure-trove of the real self is within us, but it can be lifted only when the mind is still. It is the grace of silence that will connect the ‘I’ in the ‘inner-me-self’ and ‘in our God.’
In my passed months, I have been too busy of many concerns in my life. I was too focused thinking of my family problem, evaluating my self time to time, doing my assignments in the parish, and others. Fixing all the things seemed to me that important. My spiritual life was too dry and my emotional life became chaotic. My prayer life became mechanical. My relationship with God and with my community became less personal. And even to my relationship with myself was not given an attention. My body was too exhausted to the point that almost all the things that I was doing became meaningless. I lost the sense of my work simply because I lost myself in HIM-my God. I realized that the word “God” is meaningless to me unless I can contact the Absolute within myself; then only can I place it in my vocabulary. The grace of silence is the presence of God. I believe that I could attain the full awareness of my relationship with myself in my God through being ‘in’ in the silence. This connection with the personal God gives way in understanding my all projects in life. I think the greatest problems of individual existence and the supreme questions which haunt the life of every earnest man cannot be solved within the few inches which confine the human brain. But satisfying answers for them are waiting for us in the limitless interior of our being, in the divine substance of our hidden nature. It is a way to pass from the outer to the inner, from being busy with multitude of external activities to being busy with a single internal activity of the soul. Silence is a GRACE indeed!